"Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook" is a Monty Python sketch that first aired in 1970. The sketch starts by saying that Hungarian nationals have moved into London. John Cleese plays a Hungarian who enters a tobacconist's shop. He says to the tobacconist (Terry Jones), reading from the phrasebook he is holding, "I will not buy this record; it is scratched." Jones corrects him, pointing to the Tobacconist sign and saying, "this... tobacconist..." Cleese responds, "Ah! I will not buy this tobacconist's, it is scratched." Cleese then proceeds to read more bizarre phrases from the phrasebook, including "My hovercraft is full of eels" (apparently a translation for "may I have some matches?") and "If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? I am no longer infected" Jones reads from the phrasebook, but when he says the (fake) Hungarian phrase "Yandelavasa grldenwi stravenka", Cleese punches him. A policeman (Graham Chapman) hears this from blocks away and rushes to the tobacconist's shop. Having reached the tobacconist, he asks Cleese what's going on. Cleese says "You have beautiful thighs", followed by "Drop your panties Sir William! I cannot wait 'til lunchtime!" (His gestures indicate he is trying to explain that the tobacconist insulted him.) The policeman is angry, and arrests Cleese, who yells "My nipples explode with delight!" During the trial of the phrasebook's publisher (Michael Palin), it is revealed by the prosecution (Eric Idle) that the phrasebook contains inaccurate translations,and duly (with permission) reads a phrase. The Hungarian phrase "Please direct me to the railway station" is translated as "Please fondle my bum". The publisher, having previously pleaded "Not guilty", at this point pleads "Incompetent". In various versions of the Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook, the last line is "Please sir, I am a poofter!" In their film And Now for Something Completely Different, the phrase Idle uses is "Please fondle my buttocks".

"Every Sperm Is Sacred" is a song from the movie Monty Python's The Meaning of Life, later released on the album Monty Python Sings. Michael Palin and Terry Jones wrote and performed the sketch and the lyrics.

The song is a satire of Catholic teachings on reproduction which forbid masturbation and contraception by artificial means.

The sketch is about a Catholic man (Dad, played by Michael Palin), his wife (Mum, played by Terry Jones) and their 63 children, who are about to be sold for medical experimentation purposes because their parents can no longer afford to care for such a large family. When their children ask why they don't use contraception or sterilisation, Dad explains that this is against God's wishes, and breaks into song, the chorus of which is:

Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Soon his kids, his wife, and eventually the surrounding neighborhood join in and then they begin to sing:

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood

The production in The Meaning of Life is quite visually elaborate, choreographed by Arlene Phillips to a storyboard by director Terry Jones. The hearty and cheerful nature of the musical number is counterpointed as the children are marched off to their fate after the song ends, singing a dour rendition of the chorus. The song is considered to be a parody and also takes a lot of influence from the song "Consider Yourself", from the musical Oliver!.

Monty Python's Life of Brian is a 1979 comedy written and performed by the Monty Python comedy team. It tells the story of Brian Cohen (played by Graham Chapman), a young man born on the same night and the same street as Jesus Christ.

plot:

Brian (Graham Chapman) is born in the stable a few doors down from the one in which Jesus was born (a fact which initially confuses the three wise men who come to praise the baby Jesus, as they must put up with Brian's boorish mother Mandy, played by Terry Jones, until they realize their mistake). Brian grows up to be an idealistic young man who resents the continuing Roman occupation of Judea. He is shocked to find out that he is the son of a centurion. "Well, it started off as a rape ..." his mother explains. While attending Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, he becomes infatuated with the attractive young rebel Judith (Sue Jones-Davies). His desire for Judith and hatred for the Romans lead him to join the People's Front of Judea, one of many factious and bickering separatist movements, who all have similar names (such as the Judean People's Front). His first assignment as a rebel is an attempt at scrawling some graffiti ("Romanes eunt domus") on the wall of the governor's palace. This succeeds beyond his wildest expectations when he is caught by a passing Roman guard who, in disgust at Brian's faulty Latin grammar, forces him to write out the 'corrected' message ("Romani ite domum", which can also be translated to "Romans Go Home") one hundred times.(cf Mark 5 on "Legion").

When the guards change shifts at daybreak, the new Roman guard tries to arrest Brian. He runs, has a series of adventures, and ultimately winds up at a plaza, where various mystics and prophets harangue the crowd. Forced to come up with something plausible to say in order to blend in, he babbles some pseudo-religious nonsense which inspires his small audience. Once the Romans have left, he tries to put the episode behind him. But he has inspired a movement. Ultimately, a large crowd decides he is the Messiah. Brian is appalled, but there is nothing he can do: his every action is studied as a point of doctrine, and any unusual occurrence is seen as a "miracle."

The Romans finally catch the hapless Brian, and he is scheduled to be crucified. Various parallels to the crucifixion of Jesus are seen. In the end, a "rescue" attempt fails and his buddies in the People's Front of Judea leave him to be martyred. Pontius Pilate pardons Brian, but in a scene reprising one in the film Spartacus, everyone being crucified claims to be Brian. The actual Brian remains hanging in the hot sun as Eric Idle sings Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.